Circle of life

         I’ve been meaning to update our blog for some time now.  But when you feel like your life has been ripped from underneath you, you are just reminding yourself to breathe.  Since my brother Tony’s tragic death I have experienced tremendous sadness.  Actually the kind of sadness you don’t have words for.  One of the hardest parts is watching all my people that I love so much hurt so bad.  It’s heartbreaking watching your parents crumble to the floor.  It’s heartbreaking to look into your brother’s eyes when he is simply wondering how he is going to do life without his brother.  It’s heartbreaking to tuck your kids into bed at night when they look up at you with tears in their eyes because they simply don’t understand why "bad" things happen. 

       When I got up to speak at Tony’s funeral, I remember thinking that I didn’t want his death to be for nothing.  I insisted that something good come from it, because I do believe that good comes from everything, even the darkest of storms.  It is with complete joy and happiness that I get to announce that we are FINALLY getting our baby!!  We got the call today and we will be getting our baby boy in just 4-weeks!  Yes, you read that correctly  4-weeks!  Words cannot begin to tell you how happy we are.  And, to be honest, we just needed some happy.  I have experienced some amazing God moments since the night my brother died until we got the “yes” call today from our adoption agency.  Today, I kept thinking about the circle of life and in the midst of our sadness and pain from death, comes the greatest joy ever, from birth.  We will forever miss Tony and we know that our baby boy will always have a special guardian angel looking over him.  Because just as Tony entered the gates of heaven, the plan was being laid out to present us with our baby.  A baby we have dreamt about for years.

 

         As you can imagine, we are all in a bit of shock and not sure how we are going to do everything that needs to be done in less than a month.  But we are also holding strongly to our motto that we have had since day one….”Faith is when you close your eyes and open your heart”  We opened our hearts and cannot wait to meet our son.  We are trusting in God’s plan.  We are keeping the faith.  And while we continue to mourn, we will also rejoice.  A new life, a little hope and a lot of happy.  Here we go….